Dare 2: In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.
Background: Being patient is only a part of having love. We must also be kind. As Kendrick says, “Patience avoids a problem; kindness creates a blessing.” Kindness can be broken down into four different parts – gentleness, willingness, helpfulness, and initiative. Kendrick also encourages us by saying, “It is difficult to demonstrate love when you feel little to no motivation. But love in its truest sense is not based on feelings.” We cannot expect to be rewarded back if we have love. We may be rewarded eventually, but the reward should not be what encourages us to have love. I want my husband to know that I am kind by the actions I show him. He should be top priority in my attempt to be kind, yet he is the last person I think about being kind to. I do not mean I speak harshly or that we fight, but I forget to do kind things for him. Kindness can have many faces, and we need to assess ourselves and determine ways in which we can be kind to our husbands (once again, much easier said than done).
My Experience: I had no idea what I was going to do to be kind! I read this dare the night before and thought for HOURS about what I could possibly do. Around 12pm on the dare day, I came up with a plan. I decided I would cut the grass for my husband. He always takes care of the yard. I have never cut our entire yard, and I knew that it needed to get done. We had plans for the next day and I knew he was trying to figure out when he would find time to cut the grass. It took me forever!!!!! We have a push reel mower (i.e. it is not motorized). You have to use some muscle to work it. By the time I finished, I had a sunburn and I was exhausted! I learned to have a new appreciation for his time outside. Although the children and I are usually outside while he works, we are just playing around. I realized how much work it takes to cut our yard, and I gained a little more respect for him. His reaction…he still doesn’t know. I want him to see our yard and be relieved. He got home last night after dark and he is still asleep as I type. I am hoping he is excited and grateful that he has one less thing to do today, but I still feel like I learned something even if he doesn’t acknowledge it. In fact, I would not be surprised if his response was something like, “Now you know how I feel.” This journey is not about changing him…it is about changing me, and I feel more positive toward him and the work he does for our family.