Love Dare Day 4

Standard

Dare:  Whatever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you.  It’s hard to care for something you are not investing in.  Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says, “I was thinking of you today.”

Background:  One way we can improve our marriages is to be selfless.  We should try being less selfish, and give more to our spouses.  We are all selfish, even if we do not want to admit it.  If we do something nice for someone because it will benefit us, we are being selfish.  We cannot have love and be selfish at the same time.  Sometimes, we must put the happiness of our spouse ahead of our own.  Kendrick says, “Be the first to demonstrate real love to [your spouse], with your eyes wide open.  And when all is said and done, you’ll both be more fulfilled.”  We should try to keep our spouse’s best interests in mind, and to serve them in ways that need to be served.  We want them to see us looking out for them first.

My Experience:  I had a difficult time accepting my selfishness.  I feel like I give to everyone all day long.  However, when I took a good, hard look at my day, I realize that I give my all to my children and homeschool, but I have a hard time doing for my husband.  When he gets home and asks me to make him something to eat, I give him an exasperated look and tell him how tired I am and I busy I have been today.  I AM exhausted when he gets home, but I should still try to serve him by making him what he likes (it is always fairly easy to make).  I also can buy items for our homeschool and not bat an eye, but every time my husband points out a video game he has been waiting for, I tell him we should not be spending money on that kind of thing.  So, for this dare I bought him that video game.  I left it in the bathroom with a sweet note, and he found it when he got home from work.  He brought it out and said, “Why did you get this?  I love it!!!”  He then spent the rest of the evening playing the game.  Some of the tasks I wanted him to get done (washing the dog, helping with chores, etc.) did not get done, but he enjoyed playing his new game and begged me to come sit and watch him beat the bad guy.  Childish, I know, but it is something he hardly gets to do and it made him happy.  The money and the lost time were worth it because of how excited he was!

Note:  If your budget truly will not allow for you to purchase something for your spouse, make something!  This gift does not have to be expensive or extravagant…it just needs to let your spouse know that you were thinking of them.

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4 responses »

  1. I say the same thing about video games:) made me laugh a bit of a guilty chuckle when I read your comment:) Thanks for posting, good food for thought for me today, I am almost always willing to buy for my kids but not my husband. Right now he really wants to get this dog but all I can think about is the money and the time but he so rarely asks for something just for him. I now know what I am going to be doing for my dare:) And we will be the proud owners of a new dog by this weekend:) Thanks again for the inspiration and your willingness to be open and frank

    • Angel!!! We just got a dog for the same reasons!!!! I have been putting it off forever, because I know that I am the one who gets stuck doing all of the work;) I finally broke down, and our new dog is the sweetest girl and my husband is in love with her (and the kids are, too!). Good luck!

  2. I can be selfish and want a lot of material things for me and we both agree on spending a reasonable amount of money on developmentally appropriate items for our child. However, my spouse generally says he doesn’t want “things” and if he does want something, he just gets it for himself and so it’s hard for me to get him something he wants or step back and realize I shouldn’t be spending so much on me, but should focus on getting something nice for him that he’ll really love or get a lot of use out of. I’ve enjoyed thinking up his christmas presents this year and am currently trying to get a seasonal job so I can afford more for him, my daughter (and yes a bit for myself) this Christmas and into our birthdays and valentines day in January and February.

    • Thanks for sharing, Sasha! We both funnel our money toward our children (he buys toys, I buy homeschool stuff), but we both are lax about buying each other items. I think my husband and I should spend less on our children (they have WAY too much), and focus more on saving for our future. My husband does not usually buy for himself, and neither do I. He does tell me what he wants, though. I think I am also going to just start telling him if I want something for myself and see what happens:) Good luck on the job hunt!

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