Dare: Whatever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you. It’s hard to care for something you are not investing in. Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says, “I was thinking of you today.”
Background: One way we can improve our marriages is to be selfless. We should try being less selfish, and give more to our spouses. We are all selfish, even if we do not want to admit it. If we do something nice for someone because it will benefit us, we are being selfish. We cannot have love and be selfish at the same time. Sometimes, we must put the happiness of our spouse ahead of our own. Kendrick says, “Be the first to demonstrate real love to [your spouse], with your eyes wide open. And when all is said and done, you’ll both be more fulfilled.” We should try to keep our spouse’s best interests in mind, and to serve them in ways that need to be served. We want them to see us looking out for them first.
My Experience: I had a difficult time accepting my selfishness. I feel like I give to everyone all day long. However, when I took a good, hard look at my day, I realize that I give my all to my children and homeschool, but I have a hard time doing for my husband. When he gets home and asks me to make him something to eat, I give him an exasperated look and tell him how tired I am and I busy I have been today. I AM exhausted when he gets home, but I should still try to serve him by making him what he likes (it is always fairly easy to make). I also can buy items for our homeschool and not bat an eye, but every time my husband points out a video game he has been waiting for, I tell him we should not be spending money on that kind of thing. So, for this dare I bought him that video game. I left it in the bathroom with a sweet note, and he found it when he got home from work. He brought it out and said, “Why did you get this? I love it!!!” He then spent the rest of the evening playing the game. Some of the tasks I wanted him to get done (washing the dog, helping with chores, etc.) did not get done, but he enjoyed playing his new game and begged me to come sit and watch him beat the bad guy. Childish, I know, but it is something he hardly gets to do and it made him happy. The money and the lost time were worth it because of how excited he was!
Note: If your budget truly will not allow for you to purchase something for your spouse, make something! This gift does not have to be expensive or extravagant…it just needs to let your spouse know that you were thinking of them.