Love Dare Day 5

Standard

Dare:  Contact your spouse sometime during the business of the day.  Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything you could do for them.

Background:  Remember that feeling you had when you first started dating your spouse?  That one when all you wanted to do was be together, and when you were apart all you did was think of each other?  After marriage, those feelings of adoration and awe begin to subside and we can let the romance wither.  We lose that thoughtfulness of our other and begin to focus on every thing else.  They get left behind, forgotten.  This dare is about understanding your other half, and beginning to remember them again.  Men (generally) have a one-track mind.  Whatever it is they are involved in is the only thing they are thinking about.  Women (generally) multi-task like crazy.  Men say what they mean; women hint around about what we are trying to convey.  We expect our men to be able to know what we are thinking, even if we don’t say it (or say it outright).  They are not mind-readers, as much as we wish they were.  Thoughtfulness requires us to understand how our spouse works, and then we should work toward helping them understand us.  If you are upset because your husband did not come home in time for dinner, than say it.  Don’t just get mad and expect him to know why you are mad.  Begin to think about how your spouse processes information and speak in a way that they will understand.  Think about the next big event you could be planning for (ours is Christmas…I already have been thoughtfully considering what I should buy for him).  Is there something you can do today to meet one of his needs?  Just take a minute and think about all of the things you love about that person.

My Experience:  My husband calls me often every time he is at work.  If I do not hear from him, it is because he is so busy he has not even had time to eat.  Given a choice, he calls me over running to grab a snack.  I, on the other hand, cringe every time I hear the phone ring.  It is not that I do not want to talk to him, it is just that he always seems to call in the middle of a lesson or when the baby is crying.  Unless I really, really need something, I do not contact him.  Since he cannot answer my phone calls, I decided I would text him throughout the day.  My text was “How are you?  I miss you…”  He called me five minutes later and said he did not understand my text.  After a flash of guilt, I said I meant how work was going.  Our conversation went as normal.  However, 30 minutes later, he starts texting me and telling me about something he is struggling with at work right now.  It was a wonderful feeling to have him confide in me, even if it was through a text.  I knew how he was really feeling today.  Although I cannot fix his sadness, I can be supportive and try to make his day a little better by staying positive.

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